Feeling Disappointed
February 2, 2009
This week I think it's really important to say how disappointed I am with myself. After doing do good the first couple weeks of the year, I have fallen off the fitness bandwagon. It's too soon for me to quiet. I don't want to give up, so why can't I keep up with it? I keep making excuses for myself and you know I need to stop. I have to remember that I am fat by choice. I don't have to stay this way. I can do my exercises. My ankle is sore, but I can't let that stop me from working out. I need to work on being the best ME I can. I can fit in 10 minutes of exercise every morning and night. I can stop eating so much. I hate to throw food away, but I need to stop eating so much. If David doesn't eat all his dinner, than Zurg can have it. I don't need it. I also need to cut back on the white bread. I don't need to snack while I watch TV. Maybe I should by Cherios again to snack on. I want to be healthy and thin. I can do this. I can be a better me. All the excuses of birthday cakes, sore ankles, no time...they are all bullshit and I know it. It has to stop now!
Tags:
exercise, health, weight
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Aaron running through my mind
January 22, 2009
Well I know nobody reads this so I guess it's a good place for me to put down all of my thoughts and feelings. WARNING: The following is a random collection of thoughts that jump around a bit.
I mentioned on my previous blog about a guy I met on the internet, well his name is Aaron and he's all I have been thinking about lately. He is making me feel like some love sick teenager. Let me correct that by saying I'm not in love with him, yet. But I see that I'm in danger of falling hard for him. I know he's not ready to jump into a serious relationship, and truth be told neither am I. I already can see he's the type of person I would like to be around. I hope he always remains my friend even if I don't get more. But the thing is I want more. And I'm looking at him and I can see myself very happy with him. I don't want to be stuck as a friend. Last night at dinner we talked about that. I told him I was always thought of as one of the guys and I don't want to be one of the guys I want more. I hope he picked up on that hint. And it appears that he did. So far we have been taking things slow...and by slow I means snails pace. We have only hugged and that is it. I want to kiss him, but I'm afriad. I fear that if I kiss him there won't be that spark. I think I'd feel it especially because of the way he makes me feel, but I don't know if he feels the same way. He mentioned that he had the friends and he doesn't want the just friends and I hope he starts acting on that. As I mentioned above I think he started to last night. We were watching "Donnie Darko" at his house. This is not totally new for I have gone to his place to watch Buffy many times. What was different about this time ws that he opened up a little and put his arm on the back of the couch instead of to himself. I think he wanted to put his arm around me...at least I wanted him to do that. I kind of moved closer to him on the couch and leaned my head back...maybe next time I we can get a bit closer. On the plus side of things, he gave me his first compliment. He told me that I looked nice last night. I dressed in what I hoped he'd like. I wore my sweater with the pink undershirt because it is the one shirt that really shows any kind of clevage (yeah I did that on purpose). Before I left he gave me a hug, but it seemed to last a little longer and a tighter hold than the other times. I hope he's interested in me. And I really hope I'm not reading too much into this. I may not be in love with him, but I wold be heart broken if we stopped seeing each other. I really like him and can't wait to explore getting closer with him. And yes I can't wait to be kissed because I think that when he kisses me it will make everything so real. I told you he makes me feel like a teenage girl.
Tags:
relationships
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2008 In Review
January 2, 2009
Okay, I thought I'd give my update and reflections on 2008. Overall I have to say that 2008 has been a great year full of change for me as well as David.
First I want to hit the career side of my life. Last December I started a new job which made it hard to say where it was going to go in 2008, but I am happy with it's direction. It was a hard start. Right as I was getting used to the accounting work I needed to do, I was thrown into Labor Management. I love it here and have to say I am happy with my work life. I have a great job with a great boss and I couldn't do any better. This job suits me. For 2009 I am looking forward to further training in ADP and more growth.
Looking at my health I will honestly say 2008 was not a great year for me. Firstly, I didn't lose any weight in 2008 and that has to change for 2009. I lost focus on my health and was repaid by having high cholestrol for the first time. I need to focus on being healthy for David. His health was pretty good overall. He Scarlett Fever in the spring and a bilateral ear infection in November (and I think he has another ear infection, so I'm taking him to the doctors). Other than that he has grown a couple inches this year and even gained a few pounds. But I have to say the biggest health news for 2008 was that I managed to fall down ONE step and sprained TWO ankles! One of which still swells and acts up everyone once in a while.
My personal life has had big changes too. I had one great family vacation on a wonderful cruise to Bermuda with Mom, Dad, Katie, Matt, and David. We had a lot of fun and cruising is definitly the way to vacation with family. I am sad I was not able to go to Disney in December like I orginally hoped, maybe in 2009. I went to my first Star Trek convention over the summer and had a blast. I hope to have the money to return in 2009. At the convention I made a new friend in Alex who introduced me to the Northern Virginia Star Trek Meetup. I decided that I really need time for me, so once a month I drive up north and hang out with wonderful people talking. I also went on my first date since David was born and am making new friends. I love David, but I need adult companionship too.
Family life has been different this year. There has been rocky stuff going on and I have to say I love my family and am glad I have them here for me. I made a HUGE step for me and I moved out of my brother's house into a place of my own. I love that I have a place I can say is just mine and David's. The bills are killing me and rent is high, but in 2009 I plan on paying the place off and offically owning it.
Overall 2008 was one of the best years in a while. I look forward to 2009 being even better. I have the most positive outlook I've had in a long time. I want to thank my family and friends for turning this last year into a good one and I hope you all have a 2009 as great as I hope mine will be.
Tags:
dating, family, home, life, work
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What a weekend
August 6, 2007
This weekend was a stressful weekend. It started late Thursday when my mom noticed the lymph node under Katie's left arm was swollen. Not just a litte swollen, but VERY swollen. Friday she went to the doctors where all they did was draw blood and said they would call back with a date to have a sonogram done to look at it more closely. Friday was also when my dad was scheduled to have a biopsy. They don't have results back yet, but I think everything will be fine.
Friday afternoon when all the doctors appointments were done, I went shopping with the family. I didn't buy as much as I thought, but I can always go out later. Our shopping trip was cut short when Katie's doctor called to say they couldn't get a sonogram done for TWO weeks. Since that is too long she was taken to an emergency room at a children's hospital. The ran the blood tests which came out fine, and scheduled her sonogram for Wednesday.
And that wasn't even the all for Katie this weekend. On Sunday while playing she was petting one of dogs who turned around a bit her face. She was rushed to the emergency room where she spent all day. Her left side of her face was bit and she needed stitches behind her left ear. The poor girl is in pain and no 5 year old should have to spend her weekend in the emergency room.
Tags:
doctors, emergency, katie
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The Aliens Are Coming
August 2, 2007
It seems that Star Trek might be having strange effect on my neice Katie. She is 5 and she is a big Trekkie. Her favorite thing about Star Trek has to be the aliens. Today she spent the car trip home telling me alien stories. She started by telling me that the astronauts live on Mars, but they don't eat the aliens there because they taste yucky. She has many more stories like that. She makes up her own aliens, and even uses common ones like the Borg. I've turned my 5 year old neice into a Trekkie! Maybe one year I can take her to a convention. I know she'd love that!
Tags:
aliens, katie, star trek
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Starting Off - Updated!
August 2, 2007
Okay, I started this website almost a year ago and I haven't touched it since I started. So first let me say I'm sorry everything is out of date. I'm new to web design, so bear with me until I get things going.
I have been reading Wil Wheaton's blog for the last few months and it has made me want to write. I am currently trying my hand at writing a Star Trek Academy series. I've written a couple chapters, but I don't think they are really good. See the problem is that I already see the story in my head, but can't get it on paper without it sounding so unprofessional. I guess that's because I'm not a professional.
I also want to start keeping my thoughts online. I have myspace, but I don't feel comfortable posting there. I guess it's because everyone on myspace seems so fake. If you go to my site you'll notice I don't have many friends, that's just because I only believe in adding those people who I actually know.
So please look around my site. This, of course, is my blog. I have a picture page that I hope to get a lot on, if not I'll open a flikr account or something. I also have a page just for David. When he gets older I'll let him take over, but for now I'll leave that page for things concerning him that might not be too interesting on the blog.
*It seems my links weren't working. I'm trying to get them up and running:)
**Okay they work now:)
Tags:
blog, starting, writing, wwdn
Posted at: 01:25 PM | 0 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink
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